Excuses are like......................

Well I am back and little bit sore from my tumble off the Weight Watcher's wagon.  I am down 10 pounds total but bet I have lost and gained WAY more than that!!  I have a million different reasons that I have not lost more weight or blogged in almost two months but excuses are like behinds.....we all have one and they all stink!  What it boils down to is when the going got tough, I fell into a bag of Oreos.  A bag, might I add, that was far too conveniently located in the fat girl's pantry.  I am disappointed in myself but have decided not to give up and get right back in the saddle.  This is a HUGE victory because this is the point in every journey before now that I would give up on myself and drown my sorrows with Puffy Cheetos and Reese's cups.

Positives:
-I am eating a healthier breakfast (most mornings)
-I am more aware of what I am eating, even when I overeat
-I am not giving up

Challenges
-Fatty food tastes better
-Old habits die hard
-Fatty food tastes better
-Old habits die hard

As I write this too short and long overdue post I have some songs running through my head:
The B**ch is Back
Back in the Saddle
Don't Stop Believing.

For those of you that know me well, it is not hard to picture me dancing to the music in my head.  There is a definite soundtrack to my life and I am very pleased that right now, most of the songs (or at least the titles) are positive in nature.

****Please note that though I listed the songs that are in my head.....this fat lady is not singing.....it is not over.

Thanks for sticking with me!  Much love.

Slow and steady?

Everyone's weight-loss journey is different.  If you have ten, or maybe even twenty pounds to lose you can sprint out off the line and get it done!  In my case I have around 90 pounds and a sprint that far would likely kill this fluffy princess so slow and steady it is.  I have analyzed what it will take for me to do this and be successful.  I have to approach this like it is a marathon.........I need a plan, I need support, and then I need the guts just to do it.  I am steadily going down but not posting big impressive numbers am I am ok with this.  It is kind of funny because at the very beginning of this journey I wanted to lose weight.  I wanted healthier habits and I wanted to feel cute again.   In my mind, I thought developing healthy habits would be a by-product of the weight loss.  Three weeks into my journey, I realized that the healthy habits have to be developed first and weight-loss will follow.  I am working dilligently on changing my relationship with food.  I have learned that reading part of a book, spending time with a friend, or a bubble bath can do the same thing that a late-night fat-laden snack used to.  Are you kidding me??  That is a HUGE victory!  It is not measured in pounds but I am still so proud!  We have gone out to eat and I get what I want.  I will not be eating salads at every restruant I go to for the next fifty years.  It might help me lose more weight initially but that will just come right back on when decide I have had enough salad........which I don't really love anyway.  Victory #2?  I ordered some fabulous enchildas and even had chips and queso.  Doesn't sound victorious?  Well I stopped when I was full and it does not get much more victorious than that!!!  I have not given up anything, I just eat less of it and fill in the blanks with much healthier choices.  I have more energy and quite honestly I feel like my moods are a bit more even.  I have been on at least a 10 year sugar high........maybe longer! 

I feel a bit slimmer and that is boost.  I am almost to the point where I have things figured out.  This is a battle and I need a battle plan and I think I just about have one.  I am eating healthy breakfasts and I have NEVER done that.  It is making a huge difference in my snacking habits.  Which I still have by the way.  I snack healthier too.  I have taken the last couple of weeks and tested the waters.  Can I really eat a Reese's every day and lose weight if I don't go over my points?  I believe so but did not get far into testing this theory because it makes me feel crappy to eat that much sugar.  And THAT would be Victory #3!  I am drinking more water, or tea and not near as much coke.  It has been diet for several years, but still, not as much of the artificial sweetners is making a difference.  I have made a bit of a choice, which is probably not going to be super popular....but I have decided that I am going to go for sugar vs. chemicals most of the time.  Not always of course and I know that it will not contribute to the weight loss but it won't ever be a splurge to me if I can have it all of the time.  If I am going to eat a brownie, by golly, I want a brownie not a diet version of a brownie.  Basically I have taken the diet part right out of this experience.  I am changning my habits and attitudes concerning food.  They did not happen in a few weeks and they will not be undone in a few weeks but I know I can do it.  Most people that know me can attest to the fact that when I truly decide I want something......it usually happens.

The journey continues...........
Big Momma

You are what you eat......

You are what you eat and I am flippin fat.  I did not get this way eating fruits and vegetables.....I can tell you that much!  It is absolutely not normal to spend as much time thinking about food as I do.  And this past week, those thoughts centered on pretty much one thing.  One specific combination of chocolate and peanut butter.  I will tell you that I am addicted to junk food, but I cannot explain my unhealthy attachment to Reese's.  Holy crap.  It is ridiculous.  There were a couple of times last week and this weekend that I thought if I could just squeeze in one package of Reese's a day I could be successful on this diet.  Reese's and diet are two words that do not belong together, but I digress.  One package a day?  No wonder I am roughly the size of a cow!  Who in the heck eats a candy bar every day???  Me, that's who.  And in the interest of full disclosure in this journey I will be honest and tell you that somedays it was more than one.  What a waste of money.  Someday I will get the balls to add up the amount of money I have spent to buy food that would eventually kill me.  I know this sounds like I am being down on myself, but I assure you, I am not.  Live and learn.  I am only 31 years old....I have plenty of time to turn this around and get to a healthier weight with better eating habits.  Something wonderful that will be a by product of this journey is that my family will eat better and move more.

That being said....it is going to be along dang journey if I do not stop dreaming of Reese's cups and Puffy Cheetos.  Somebody call a doctor.....is Gene Simmons available? ;)

By the way....I posted a loss of .8lbs.  Not much to speak of but this is a complete lifestyle change and I am beginning to realize that it may take a while to completely change my relationship with food.  I have a long way to go before I get to the point where food is something you consume to keep the machine going.  I even exercised a couple of times.  Watch out now!

This week I learned two things:
1.  Even after eating better for one week.....I feel better and have more energy.
2. There are lots of things to do when I am happy, sad, mad, stressed than eat and the payoff is bigger.

Thanks for joining my journey!

Big Momma

Fast food.............

Ok.....I am several days in and doing very well.  I have not felt deprived at all and stayed within my points!!  I was so proud of myself...................until today.  Wow.  We stopped and got McD's for breakfast and then my mom is here and it is beautiful outside so we decided to get food and go to the park.  I let the boys choose and and of course they chose Chick-fil-A.  We got our meals and ate at the park and played for about an hour or so and then ran some errands.  On our way home Buddy asked if we could go get ice cream so we went to Sonic.  I knew I was blowing it but entered my points anyway.  HOLY CRAP!!!  It is 4pm and I have blown my points for the day and even some flex points. 

The only positive about today is that even after just one week of eating healthier, eating like I did today has made me feel like crap!  This experience is also opening my eyes to the way I have allowed my boys to eat.  They have eaten better this week by just because of the fact that I prepared better meals.  Even if I don't become a skinny witch.......I do want to feed my family food that is better for them.

The really sad thing about today is that until two weeks ago, this was not unusual.  And you could even throw in a candy bar or two.  Being totally honest, I do not have a thyroid problem or anything else that can cause weight gain.  This girl is fat because she likes to eat!!  I have come by my behind honestly and will just have to work it off the old-fashioned way. 

I am not hungry at all right now but I am seriously considering going and doing a high-intensity cardio video just to earn some activity points so I don't end the day so out of whack.  This will be a process as it is a total lifestyle change for me but I believe I can do it!

Thanks for joining me on this journey!

Big Momma

In the beginning.......

Hi there!  Welcome to my journey to less fat.....hoping to continue on to downright skinny.  I am a thirty-one year wife/mom/teacher and have become a whole lot more woman that I ever wanted to be.  I promised myself that I would be totally and brutally honest in my journey.  I need accountability and putting myself in a blog and knowing it would be humilitating to not post a weight loss I am ready to go.  I am tipping the scale at a very embarrassing 217 pounds.  My goal weight is 120-130.   That is at 87-97lb weight loss.  Wow......a bit overwhelming.  How do you eat an elephant??  One bite at a time.  For this reason, I have set smaller goals.  I want to lose 15 pounds by Spring Break, that is 7 weeks away and very doable.  I want to fit my increasingly smaller behind in a size 14 by our vacation at the beginning of June. 
I believe I can do this for one reason.  I am sick.  I am sick of wearing clothes that resemble draperies.  I am sick of believing that what I need when I am sad is Reeses and Puffy Cheetos.  I am sick of putting food on the table that will make my family fat.  I am sick of looking in the mirror and wondering who the hell is looking back at me.  I am sick of feeling gross and fat.

I have joined a Weight Watchers group and have high hopes.  There is accountability and it basically trains you on portion control and healthy food choices.  The most important thing in any weight loss plan for me is that it does not highly restrict or eliminate foods.  You have a certain number of points and you can eat what you want you just have to track it.   

I am very excited and hope I don't regret my decision to blog my journey.